Have you ever made a mistake at the poker tables and then spent hours (or even days) berating and criticizing yourself? Do you constantly revisit or obsess over mistakes or negative situations?
The mental process of reviewing mistakes in high definition is called ruminationand has driven many poker players to despair. Once self-confidence is shaken, it's hard to get back to normal play. To deal with this effectively you need to know how to deal with setbacks, both during and after such an event.
Here are some tips to help you prevent a wrong move from being ruminated on, thus creating negative effects and feelings (and potentially favorable conditions for more wrong moves).
There's no such thing as error-free poker
The first step to freeing your mind is to consciously realize that there is no such thing as a poker game free of mistakes. Everyone, even the venerable Phil Ivey, makes mistakes. Remember that winning flush that Ivey folded at the showdown in the Main Event of World Series of Pokerin 2009? Remember that it's not your mistakes that define you as a player, but how you respond to them.
Refusing to act
What is your most common response to mistakes? Most players just "react", and this is exactly when the self-flagellation begins. Reacting with negativity doesn't give you the resources to work on the problem, and only intensifies negative feelings. Reacting is a sign of mental weakness that serves to increase sensitivity and inevitably leads to more mistakes. Refuse to react unconsciously and you'll be miles ahead of your opponents.
Develop a strategy for moving forward
Train yourself to think: "It was a mistake, it happens. Now I have to move on." Your mission is to immediately re-engage in the game by making your next action a positive one. Always be thinking about what positive steps you can take.
Mistakes must belong to your short-term memory
While playing, you absolutely must develop a short-term memory for mistakes, at least as far as the negative emotions and self-criticism they can incite are concerned. Erase all previous mistakes from your mind and be ready for the next hand. Each hand is just a mini-performance within a larger performance, and your job is to make that overall performance as good as possible. If you obsess over a mistake you've made and keep dwelling on it, you won't be able to play.
See mistakes as learning opportunities
That said, you don't want to keep making mental repetitions of mistakes until you create negative emotions, you want to put them away for later and try to learn how to avoid them literally (making them again). Many self-improvement experts teach that the fastest way to success is to make mistakes over and over again. It may sound like a strange concept, but if you get into the habit of studying your sessions, and your mistakes, you'll see that it's true.
In these studies, look at everything you've done well and should continue to do. This has the benefit of increasing your confidence. Then review mistakes and make sure you answer the question: "What is the most important thing I can learn from this?" Also plan what to do in the future if a similar situation arises. If this study seems laborious to you, let me assure you of two things. Firstly, it will become faster as it becomes part of your routine. And secondly, all elite players use some kind of study session of this type.
Practice mindfulness
Spending too much time thinking about the past or worrying about the future is counterproductive. Mindfulness is the practice of training your attention by focusing on the here and now. Every moment you find yourself thinking about past mistakes, refocus on the present. A very good way to do this is by using a word or phrase as a signal, such as "it's all here and now" or "the next move will be my best move". If you find yourself thinking about a mistake, take a deep breath and remember your signal word or phrase and get back on track!
Translated and adapted from: Poker News - How to Stop Ruminating Over Your Poker Mistakes
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