When you lose a big pot, your mind is like a boat. A boat on a lake. A lake into which a huge block of ice has just fallen. The crash of the block falling was enormous and now you are being shaken hard by the waves.
Understandably, you think the problem is the boulder. You think the problem is that you have lost control. But it is not. The problem is not the loss of control itself. The block of ice is at the bottom of the lake. The only problem now is the waves. The problem is thinking.
Past, Future and Present
For my first ten years as a grinder, limit hold'em was the main game, a game built for speed and the style of my opponents that ranged from careless to insane. It was a demolition derby where even the most talented and careful drivers were destined to take damage.
If you've ever played a crazy game of limit hold'em, you know that trips get hit all the time. Mathematically, it's not a big deal until it happens to you over and over again – until it becomes personal.
I used to keep a tally of how many sets I missed in a row, just to torture myself. I usually started counting after the third or fourth stab to the heart. At that point, I was sensitized and wanted to acknowledge that I was the unluckiest person.
Do you think I was playing my best in times like these?
But enough about the past. The future is far more incredible in its ability to affect my world than it is to exist. The future sends tilt waves into the past and into my brain while I’m playing poker. Let’s say my curfew is to not play for an hour, and I’m losing and don’t want to quit. That’s when the dread kicks in and my poker skills start to deteriorate. All because a block of ice from the future fell from the sky and caused waves in my pond.
We have a name for this kind of thing. We call it “worry.”
And then there’s the tilt that is now. Like you’re playing online and your back hurts, or your connection is dropping, or some idiot is talking nonsense in the chat. Or you’re playing live poker and a loudmouth drunk is invading your space, or the TV is showing the wrong football game, or the guy in seat six still owes you R$ 50. These are tilt inducers of the present, a steady barrage of tilt waves, like ocean waves, caused by everyday winds and currents. No ice floes required.
We tilt because of what has happened, we tilt because of what might happen, and we tilt because of what is happening. Our brains can be endlessly busy looking for the worst in everything.
The Guilt-Sniffing Mind
No matter what it is we care about – bankroll, gifts, parents, bodies, bosses, politicians, even the weather on the entire planet – we want it to be different, or we want it to stay the same. And we’re screwed either way because nothing is different than it is, and everything is always changing. So we feel dissatisfied. And this dissatisfaction is the cause of all harmful actions, words and thoughts. It’s the cause of all our problems.
And no one is exempt from this. No one is spared the pain brought on by the guilt-sniffing mind as it dwells on failures, discomforts, and injustices until we are so fed up that we start placing blame on everything. “I need a phone. It’s too wet to play golf. I haven’t completed my last four flush draws.”
It doesn’t matter whether we say it out loud or not, we are constantly complaining. And if our complaint is not resolved according to our will, then we complain about it. And if our complaint is resolved, then our guilt-sniffing mind looks for another pretext.
This is the shortest line in the history of the universe.
Your sniffing mind loves a short line, for example:
– Some idiot put the wrong dressing on my salad.
Your guilt-sniffing mind loves idiots. Your guilt-sniffing mind loves to make you think that their mistake is the problem. But it isn't. How can that be? The mistake is always in the past. The only problem now is complaining and blaming. Those are the sources of pain in the present.
Your guilt-sniffing mind has a huge advantage. It’s been keeping you alive all these years, keeping you out of harm’s way, so to speak. But your guilt-sniffing mind can also cause harm, such as an autoimmune disease. This happens when your immune system attacks the body it was designed to protect. The result? You get sick. Likewise, your mind can turn on itself and make you mentally ill.
I am very short.
I am very big.
I'm a drug.
We drift through life in our little boat, tossed about by the waves of dissatisfaction. Is it the world's fault that the world is full of faults? Or is it the fault of the fault-sniffing mind?
Great! I've found something to blame: my problems are not my fault. My problems are the faults of the fault-sniffing mind. So I'm not responsible.
… I think I have a reasoning problem.
Article translated and adapted from the original: Tommy Angelo Presents: The Cause of All Your Problems
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